Poor Lane Davis Answered the Phone

By Mallory Brown

Today's episode of: Poor Lane Davis answered the phone when Mallory called.

At this point, Lane really should know better.

This man stays BUSY. He has actual work to do. Actual responsibilities. A whole life that does not revolve around whatever animal-related catastrophe I've gotten myself into that day.

And yet… when I call, he answers.

Bless his heart. That's his first mistake.

Today we get a call about an "aggressive mama dog living underneath a shed with puppies."

So off we go.

First discovery:

Mama isn't aggressive.

Mama is terrified.

Because apparently in the animal control dictionary, "she's scared of me" = "SHE'S AGGRESSIVE."

(Okay, I'll admit, she did bite and growl a few times before I actually got her trust. So I can see why she was labeled aggressive, but it was all fear based.)

We get mama out from underneath the shed, and I immediately go into full FBI mode because…

WHERE. ARE. THE. BABIES.

No puppies.

I look under the shed.

No puppies.

We search around the shed.

No puppies.

Now, a normal person might think, "Hmm. Maybe there aren't any puppies."

Unfortunately for Lane, he was not dealing with a normal person.

He was dealing with me.

And I had decided there were puppies under that shed.

Lane knows me well enough to know I was NOT leaving until I had personally accounted for every imaginary puppy I had convinced myself was underneath there.

So this poor man (IN HIS GOOD CLOTHES) leaves, goes and finds a JACK, comes back, and proceeds to JACK UP AN ENTIRE SHED just so he can crawl around and make absolutely certain there are no babies underneath it.

Y'all.

We lifted a building.

For puppies that did not exist.

Because then I finally looked at mama again and realized…

SHE'S STILL PREGNANT.

There were no hidden puppies.

There had never BEEN hidden puppies.

This poor mama is just so severely malnourished and starving that it was difficult to tell at first.

So basically, Lane interrupted his day, came to help me catch a supposedly aggressive dog who wasn't aggressive, went and got a jack, lifted an entire shed, ruined any chance of keeping his good clothes clean, and entertained my investigation into The Case of the Missing Puppies…

…only for the puppies to still be INSIDE THE DOG.

And you know what?

He never complained.

Okay, maybe his face complained a little.

Lane hates attention and absolutely does not want credit for the things he does, which is exactly why I'm giving it to him publicly.

Because this is far from the first time he's stopped what he was doing to help me help an animal. He shows up. He figures it out. He deals with my "but what if…" scenarios. And apparently, if necessary, he will lift an entire structure off the ground just to make me hush and be satisfied.

So thank you, Lane Davis.

For showing up.

For caring.

For helping animals that aren't your responsibility.

For putting up with me.

And most importantly…

for confirming there were absolutely, positively, 100% NO puppies underneath that shed.

I appreciate you more than I probably ever say.

And Lane…

I'd still make you jack that shed up again.